No Metaphor for Man

One guy began telling his mind:  “Skip the modifiers – just get to the point.”

The reason that animals are so often used as a metaphor for man,
is because there is no metaphor for man.

A viewer writes:
“I can dig it!  If I could understand it, I just know I’d dig it.”

Other than the fact that they are nothing at all alike: “A viewer is like a hungry fox in the woods…”

Once men realized the futility of romantic poetry and country music, they began writing even more.  And a viewer asks:  “Could you speak a little faster?”

J.

Thinking the Same Things

One Man’s Present View: 
“Only the weak laugh,
And the weaker still, cry,
What’s that sound I hear!?
What’s that moisture in my eye!?”

He says that once he’s saved up twelve more coupons, and six hundred more box tops and wrappers, he’ll be able to become a greeting card poet for The First Church of Meteorological and Economic Science.  After the pray and healing services were concluded, one participant exclaimed:  “I’m so happy I could cry, and so sad I could just cackle!”

All distinguished, historic city institutions spell “excommunication” using only those letters extant in the word, “rectum.”  “Hmmm,” said a chap who had recently deserted the city, “no wonder I felt so strange as I left.”

One father’s advice to his son:  “If you’re not quite sure who you are – use your initials.”

If you think the same things over and over again, too many times, they’ll become ritualistic, and first thing you know, you’ll be a cult – and then where will you be!?  See, the safest thing is just not to ever start thinking of the same things in the first place.

J.

At the Bus Stop

I guess while you’re waiting on a bus, (or something), you could look at it like there are two kinds of things you might do:  you can mentally deconstruct life as it is, or construct a new one for yourself.

Oh, here comes Number 7, that’s yours, isn’t it?  Now be sure and don’t try to board again with an attempt under your arm.  Well, bye, and be sure and don’t let me see you back at this same old corner again next week. 

“Say, driver, who was that semi-masked faux passenger back at that last stop with the carpenter’s tools in a gossamer bag?”  (Somebody in the rear of the bus began to softly sing:  “Gossamer – gossamer mucho,” until all the regular riders booed him down.  Screw regular riders.)

And here’s the line-up for today’s Definitions Game:

Consciousness:  Blunt and point-blank.
Mere Thinking:  Vague and in-specific.

Consciousness:  Complex, free and forever fresh.
Mere Thinking:  Simple, inhibited and quickly boring.

Consciousness:  Young, vigorous and delightful – everything you always wanted in a lover, while just ordinary thinking remains that tired, dried up old prune of an uncle or aunt, that everyone has stashed away up their attic.

Okay, blow the whistle and let the fun begin, and may the better team win!  “Hey, Bruno, put me down for ten bucks on that first bunch.  Hey, Bruno, better yet, let me be that first bunch.”

J.

No Time for Rests

Everything contemporary men do is a partial hold-over of something older.

Facts, back to back, turned Jill to Jack and made her say: 
“Why can’t we be more like Up and Down, Adam and Eve, Hot and Cold, or even,
This and That?” 
“But ah-h-h,”  replied Jack.  “But ah-h-h, we are!  We are exactly like them!” 
And Jill became so immediately agitated that she tumbled into an entirely new story…taking…
(I might add)…all of the above mentioned along with her.

Okay, Some “More Help” For Those Who Expect To One Day Become Deceased:

If they know just how to do it – when they die – three-dimensions can go straight into six and skip the rest.  “But ah-h-h, you good musical contestants you, we didn’t fool you that time either!  You knew that in a serious viola score there is no time for rests.”

As he began writing his “Full Explanation of Life,” this one man inquired of it, “Will I be getting paid by the word?”  To which Life replied, “If you live past the letter ‘I,’ you might.”

One guy stopped and thought, “At least I’m way-y-y past the point that anyone has to convince me that this is what I should be doing.”  He then picked up a cup of coffee, or did something to distract himself, while he thought about it again…one more time.

J.

A Body Shop for the Mind

A certain man passing through a city said:
“Why should I tell you how to do it when I can’t do it myself?”

And the other man, who had originally approached him in the matter, replied:
“Oh, I’m so sorry, I thought you were some sort of official person around here,
and would not be so restrained.”

Many of the religiously car-conscious of this world think of heaven as being a place that has a body shop for the mind.

Philosophy that is serious for much longer than five minutes can poison you.

(“Daddy, how come the government doesn’t require warning labels on minds?”
“Why son, they wouldn’t even know what you’re talkin’ about.”)

The Collective: 

Life’s little way of providing a horrendous example, a comparison to which, makes even the humblest of individuals “Look Good.”

(“Daddy, how did we get to be such ‘individuals’?”
“Runs in the family, my boy…runs in the family.”)

Interior Decorating News:

A man’s personality is like his individual motif – most people’s crown molding is faux.
(Well, hey, Mister Smarty-Pants – who told you to look up here anyway?”)

J.

Don't Scoff At Another's Hobby

The interests, intrigues and pastimes of civilization are to keep an ordinary, post-survival man distracted to a degree sufficient to keep him ordinary and accepting of his station.  That is, you shouldn’t scoff at another man’s hobby, in that, everyone’s mother gives them toys proper to their entertainment.  (But also, thus it is that a man of more independent pursuits can privately laugh at everything, once he gets past, “rolling in the aisles” over his own sweet serious self.)

A Family Portrait – In Words:

One son said:  “Think fast – talk fast.”
And another son said:  “Own a Mercury – drive fast.”
|And a daughter said:  “Big Nose – Big Gear Shift.”
And the father said:  “Where did I go wrong!?”

For people guided along by hormones, family matters are best kept under the bed – as is also oftimes the case with certain family members.  (WARNING:  Family members are everywhere.)

One man’s mind said:  “I won’t bring it up if you won’t.”

And the man replied: “What?”

And his mind said:  “Good, that’s the way.”

Safari Tip:

When the serious don’t want to appear quite so dumb, they’ll smile.
When the dumb don’t want to appear quite so serious, they’ll smile.

Good!  That’s the way!

J.

How Numbers Affect Man

How You Could Look At It (When Life’s Not Looking):

It’s better to, “Have a Plan” than not to have a plan, but butterball – there’s something even better than that!

Note To the Independently Wealthy:
Just because something doesn’t make sense to the common folks, doesn’t mean it’s of no value.

How Numbers Affect The Life Of Man:

One guy looked at the forces that run the external world and said, “Screw there being two,” then looked at the same conditions as reflected in his mind, and added, “What a bummer, I’m not a one-er.”  (Above the standard brain chemistry level is a state of awareness wherein the usual numbers do not apply.)

Science:  The ordinary’s attempt to understand numbers.
Religion:  Their attempt to ignore them.
This Kinda Stuff:  An education in learning to distinguish between printed train schedules and the smell of smoke as it drifts off into the sixth dimension, where lightning does not strike the goo field with the same regularity that it does here.

(Those now able to sometimes see with the aid of verbal glasses know, of course, that “regularity” and “intensity” are interchangeable.)

After having a personal taste of the experience, one man said, “Now that I know what it is, why does everyone always refer to it in religious terms?”  And the reply, “What would you call it?”

J.

Overview Update

L.B.B.A.H.:  Let’s Be Blunt Around Here:

A man with a past has no future…around here.

L.H.S.M.D.A.H.:  Let’s Have Some More Definitions Around Here:

Religion, race, nationality and other serious, important components of civilization; one-and-all, activities to keep men from realizing just how silly, and unimportant is civilization.

T.P.E.A.T.F.T.T.B.:  That’s Probably Enough About This, For The Time Being.

Overview – BIG-G-G Overview Update:

In the effort to separate one’s consciousness from mere thinking, how can a man mistakenly take what is not himself, for himself?  Don’t simply say that “he can’t” – for the world is full of those who say that indeed he can, and often does.  (Would everyone whose name begins with a letter like to tell me what’s going on here!?!)

The mayor’s family coat of arms carried this inscription:  “Though We Stand Up Straight, We Think On A Slant.”  A man, with nothing in particular going on inside his head, will oftimes experience, “feet sweat.”

J.

It's Simple

One man thought:

“If my mind ever did slow down, I figure one of two things would occur:  I’d either be more conscious – or I’d drown.”

The NEW “Song of the Open Highway”:

My shorts are in a knot,
My car is in the shop,
Today I’m having a root canal –
Could anyone ask for more.

Hint:

To see Life as a masterpiece, you must be able to see beyond your own bent piece.

“Daddy, does This have anything to do with patience, tolerance and humility?” 
“Not a thing son, not a damn thing.”

Actually – the whole thing is pretty simple –
it’s just real hard to do.

J.

Poets, Philosophers & Priests

At first, one man told Life:  “Let me out of here,” then realized that his mind was in fact the only performer who could take off his vest without removing his jacket.  In a world of determinable dimensions, it seems impossible that anything could turn itself inside-out, but don’t bet the Studebaker on it.  Where do you think the extraordinary comes from and disappears to anyway?

One man had two places to sit –
but he didn’t like either one of them.

POETS:  Serious Idiots:  “Equal time – oh, wherefore art thou – equal time!”

PHILOSOPHERS:  The seriously serious.

PRIESTS:  The idiotically serious.

ARTISTS:  The non-serious,

But poets are still the “Serious Idiots”!

“Come back – little idiot!”

“I’ve always relied on the kindness of the serious.”

“Bubble, bubble – toil and trouble, equal times will cook me alive.”

POETS:  The End.

And now this Feature:
 “How the Normal Care and Feeding of the Mind, can Lead to an Expansion Of Consciousness” – but first this message regarding how to stuff a tomato to the point that it’ll turn into a pumpkin. 

Is there anyone who can prove that there’s an actual struggle between the quantities-of-the-mind, and the quality-of-consciousness?

J.

Talking About It

A lad asked his Dad: “How come some people are smarter than others?”
And Papa replied:  “Have you ever heard of the ‘Serious Meter’?”

One day a boy asked his father:  “How come some people are more fun than others?”
And the old man replied:  “Have you ever heard of the ‘Dumb Index’?”

And one later day, a young man asked himself:  “Is there a connection in here somewhere that I could be missing?”

There’s two sides of this kinda stuff:
Talking about it – and Doing It.
One of them seems to be more attractive than the other.

One man concocted a private, mental alarm system to warn him whenever he was lapsing into a regular state of consciousness.  Only problem is that whenever he’s in such a state, the alarm doesn’t work.

 A viewer asks:
“Do you literally mean that the alarm then doesn’t work, or that he forgets to put it in use?”
(Is anyone here going to try and tell us that there’s a difference!?)

Yet another way that Life protects the innocent from hearing extraordinary ideas at those times, when they may not simply find them ridiculous, is to make them take them pessimistically.  Hey, after all, who’s going to chase “Bad News”?  Well…who but the sane and ordinary!?

J.

Alligator Hair

After having visited the place once or twice, a man thought, “Now I know where the place is, and I know which vehicle will take me there, my only question now is, ‘How to get the thing cranked up any time I want to’?”  (Whe-e-e! – what a question!  Remember folks, I don’t write ‘em – I just read ‘em!  Or, for you people on an alternate wave length, I don’t read ‘em – I just write ‘em.  Ah-h-h – what a reminder!)

Civilization Wrung-Out Again and Hung Up To Dry For Your Examining Convenience:
Men wear suits so their alligator hair won’t show.

One man said, “Sometimes I don’t know where I am, but being around others who don’t also helps a lot.”  As the children skipped on one foot, and periodically sank – they sang:

“Helps a lot,
Thanks a lot,
We cast our lot
with the suits and ties.”

(But what choice have the innocent?  Screw illusionary choices for a second time.)

Operational Definition as per The Way Some People Live Their Lives:
Books:  An excuse for lack of effort.

“Boy, Estelle – did you hear what he just said about readin’ – boy, I’m sure glad he didn’t get into the matter of talkin’!”

J.

Fake Fireplaces

One man says:

“You know, sometimes I can go all day and not actually make any effort to push my consciousness beyond the ordinary verbal level.  I’m not bragging when I tell you this, I’m actually ashamed, although even that’s hard to explain – seeing how no one knows I’m not but me.”

The two basic time zones on this planet are: 
Survival and Post-Survival.
The body runs on one – the mind on the other.

Life told one man:

“Okay, I’ll make a deal with you – I’ll give you your choice:  you can either be effected by everything or just by one thing.  Which will it be, twinkle-breath?”  (The man asked me to ask you people if you could help him out in this.  Screw illusionary choices.)

One man had a bad disease, but dreaming of the place where everything was unnaturally still, and from where you could see everything – cured him.  Actually going there – really cured him!

Some Spiritual Warmth and Assurance from Some City Dwellers by way of a Definition:

Religion:  Fake fireplaces for sham chills.

J.

Squeaky Wheel

One guy says, “I originally thought that I was a metaphor for all mankind.  Then I thought I was a metaphor for just myself.  And later I believed I was a metaphor for what all men might be; but now I’m just satisfied to be able to stand here and tell you all this.” 

What better advertisement than this could there be for the:

Majesty of Mountains,

The Beauty of Birds,

The Charm of the Seasons,

And the Mind with Its Reasons.

The mind is not a mere merry-go-round if consciousness is the end of the ride.

One man caught a rat in a trap, but when he looked at it closely, it said, “I’m no rat – I’m a squirrel.”  And when he examined it even closer, it said:  “I’m no squirrel – I’m your mind.”  And he said, “Hold it – let’s go back to the rat part.”

A philosopher without a job is like a squeak looking for a wheel.

J.

Snoops Deserve a Surprise

After seeing a would-be mystical book with the title, “The Resurrection Of The Body,” one man died from the exertion of his subsequent laughter.

One day when he thought his neighbors were spying on him again, this one man began leaping about madly, as he loudly sang:
 “Rip off your clothes,
Throw down your pants,
Ring up your uncles,
Call out the marines.”

He says that snoops deserve a surprise now and then, and his mind asked, “So why not do as much for me!”

Alleged Fact:

No one likes a smart aleck mind.

Alleged Counter Fact:

Yes they do…they just don’t know what to do with it.

One guy pretended that everything happened to everybody else.
(Does anyone catch the brief aroma of a potentially “Smoking Weapon” here?)

J.

Three Words

Mental Health Examined Before, After, and Side-Ways:

It’s pretty easy to conclude, based on what they think, that most people are nuts, because from a liver’s view – most of what people think is nuts.

One day, one Man thought he heard his mind say, “I’m just a sample of what – could be.”

“Daddy, how long do you think they’re going to keep spelling ‘Man’ with an M?”

Life can be explained in three words – but if you require more, you can also be accommodated.

One man dreamed of a place where it was unnaturally still, and from where you could see everything.  (He could only dream so after he’d been there once.)

Life told one man, “Hey, if you don’t like it around here – go somewhere else.”
(Screw there not being any place else.)

J.

Grey Matter Gurgle

One man gave his son this practical advice:

“Be nice to people on your way up, cause you ain’t going up.”

A baby mouse asked its mother, “Why do humans treat each other different than we do?” 

And she replied, “Because, my dear, they don’t know any better.”

Niceness, politeness and sympathy are all words delivered with a post-survival twang.

Some Hope for the Deceased:

When mental curiosity’s dead – you dead
(“Hey, what the hell kinda hope you call that!?”)

Some are on a bus,
Some are on a train,

But everyone over eighteen
is on a submarine.

Gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, grey matter gurgle.

J.

The Business of Life

The main business of civilization is business…which is what makes it so boring.

Some Recently Un-Nerved – I Mean Un-Earthed – “History of Rituals”:

One man told Life, “I want my own personal logo.” 
So Life kicked him in the ganzarbos and said:  “Okay, see those little squiggly lines darting around on your eyeballs – USE THEM!”

Program Reminder For All Of You Armchair Squashes:

If Life ever wants you to “Be Religious,” it’ll let you know personally!
Further Note:
If it ever does attempt to so contact you – LEAVE TOWN!

One man dreamed of a place where it was unnaturally still, and from where you could see everything.

A Survey Concerning Mortal Sustenance Based On Definitions:

Family:  Those with whom you’ll share your food.
Friends:  Those who will share theirs with you.
Life:  Well…why go into that now and spoil your appetite?

J.

Soreheads in the Sheets

Recently one man pondered thusly:

“Every living thing has an intake opening, and a discharge orifice.  But in seeing our universe as a ‘Closed System’ – where are such things?”

One guy told his brother, “Thinking makes me dizzy!”  And his brother said, “Yeah, but not half as much as if you didn’t!”  And his brother said, “Are you positive?”

Everything has a name, except new mental experience, so men give it old ones.  “Thanks a lot, men,” says one guy.  “Thanks for so long helping keep me lost!  Yeah!  Right!  Thanks bunches, men…you and your damned old words!”  (Drivers are warned to watch out for soreheads in the road.)

Mythological Progress – Debunked:

While everyone else was having spiritual, intellectual and poetic experiences, this one guy was having spiritual, intellectual and pelvic ones…(and to his own personal advantage, says he).

Progress is as progress does, except when in jammies, with their own built-in feet.
Seven people, ready for bed, linked their arms and loudly said, “We don’t get it!”
(You might also watch out for soreheads in the sheets!)

J.

The Future is Coming

A Viewer writes:

“God, it’s great to hear you talk about doing this kinda thing.  Helps keep me from thinking about how little effort I actually make in this regard.”  (WARNING:  Viewers are everywhere.)

One man had a bad disease.

The Garden of Eden, The Idea of The Womb, Dreams of Past Glories, are all reflected fears of man’s post-survival existence.

You can wait and dread a storm, or fly into the face of it, but the future is coming no matter where you stand.  Under ordinary atmospheric conditions, it is extremely difficult for the chemistry of the brain to ever rise high enough to see over the horizon of its owner’s sense of present.

Being tied to time is to be lashed to your own mechanical level of consciousness.  Being bound to your own native state of consciousness is to be forever a victim and captive of time – a task master who is no friend of any, (shall we say), “unusual mental activities”!   “Be safe,” declares the city.  “Stay home neighbors, and be-e-e safe!”

J.