In the Future...

In the future,
almost everyone
will be named,
“Hey you.”

This one planet decided that those who were going to be especially dumb would have to have a license.  They encountered one small problem, no one could spell l-i-s…l-i-c…license.

Over in the Western green zone, I met a fellow who would often exclaim, “We’re on the right track now, yes siree, on the right track now,” which, in his case, apparently served a beneficial purpose, in that it seemed to keep him distracted from the fact he didn’t have a train.

In this one constellation, the younger generation grew so vicious and vociferous in their denunciation of the previous generation as, “hypocrites,” that the elders called a general meeting wherein one of their leaders issued the following statement: “The cause of ‘hypocrisy’ in our part of the universe is in being over thirty years of age.  This is the only time we are going to make public note of this, and I suggest that you bullet proof yourselves.”  (Since I have not done so in awhile, need I note that the above may have actually occurred in the single constellation of one man’s nervous system.)

I recently received the following letter:

“Dear Sir: Upon reading your first hundred ‘news items,’ I was fascinated; the first five hundred, I was inspired.  The first thousand became my source of direction, but now – but now – I’m no longer even sure which side you’re on.”

J.