Lock All Your Doors! Here Comes More Info!

And the cry arose:

"Board all your windows! -- Lock all your doors! -- Here comes more info!"

Now it's "Once Upon A Time" time:

Once upon a time there was a man who decided that he'd talk about extraordinary matters to those who might believe they were interested in such, and to keep the focus more where it belonged, that is, on what he had to say. He initially addressed them in a monotone while standing motionless, but soon realizing his audience's negative reaction to this method, he revised it and began pacing the floor, waving his arms, and speaking to them in a highly dramatic manner, but soon found that just as many who had originally seemed interested were leaving now as did when he employed the opposite approach.  De End

A man went to a mystic and said, "Can I ask you something?"

And the mystic said, "Uh huh." 

So the man said, "Well, sometimes it's hard to work up the energy just to get the little, everyday things done in life that we have to do."

And the mystic said, "Uh huh." 

And the man continued, "And when circumstances unexpectedly demand more of us, it can be an even bigger challenge to come up with the effort needed to deal with whatever it is." 

And the mystic said, "Uh huh." 

So the man said, "Well, I figure the kinds of things people like you are involved with must really require an extraordinary and constant degree of some special kind of enthusiasm." 

And the mystic was almost able to work himself up to replying, one more time, "Uh huh."

J.