No Guarantees, But

You’re only a virgin for an instant, so...
 

I don’t know…I can’t guarantee it,
but, running down the hall could make classes start earlier.

In some instances, you can “look on the bright side” thusly:
If you die, they won’t send you a bill.
(For the sake of agricultural veracity
I should note that this is not yet a valid universal expectation….
but as always – just you wait?)

A warrior renowned for his bravery and stoicism
in the face of battle and injury, when queried,
said that whilst in combat he simply ignored the wounds,
and later when the surgeons attended thereto he would,
for instance, if suffering from a lacerated leg, pretend that
the limb being painfully treated was someone else’s leg
and not his. A raw recruit hearing this thought,
“I wonder how that all works when he’s seeing the psychiatrist?”

In most places you may ever visit –
Everyone’s turn is next.

J.