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Summary by TK

Jan Cox Talk  0224  -  Sep 4, 1986  - runtime 1:40

  [Re: complaints from videotape watchers that J's presentation are 'just ideas': intriguing, but 'tell me what I can DO'. Ideas ARE energy; are doing; food. Man is here as part of a food chain--but it is a food chain that can't be seen; invisible processing of Blue Circuit and Yellow Circuit energies. There are only three absolute possibilities of response for the ordinary:
 1.reactive 
 2.resigned 
 3.reflective. 
   [These are each connected to their center in Red Circuit, Blue Circuit and Yellow Circuit respectively. The three are absolutely mechanical and limiting for The Few; a kind of molecular paralysis of structure --reinforcing ordinary structure. There is a 4th possible response, available only to The Few: the "right angle wrap-up". Such possibility is not a mere summation combination of the other 3 --it is comprehensive and transcendental. It involves an absolute biochemical change to your molecular structure, and affords an ability to see beyond the limits of the ordinary spectrum of energy. The ideas of This thing are radical food fostering literal biochemical change for those who are properly attracted. Consider the analogy of identification of sounds: acoustics. Parameters of description are: pitch, volume, duration and timbre. The ideas of This thing have a certain timbre that is soon recognized by those properly involved here. The ideas of This thing have a "holographic timbre" --macroscopic reflections in the microscopic --i.e., one piece of the puzzle containing the whole puzzle.]
  [Comment on question "Is it possible to restrict my own progress by my assumption of what's possible?" Yes!! ]
  [ Si^114 written on board). The Few catch their first glimpse of this when they first realize that they have always thought the same things over and over again. ]
  [The "I quit smoking article". Message from Life aimed at certain area to learn from "your experience" --providing what is taken to be a "psychological shock" of what is possible for extreme change. But what Life does not make widely available is that 'psychological shock' is an instant and comprehensive molecular change in the organism's status quo. When such happens, merely to quit smoking is child's play --many other apparently radical changes are equally possible. "Just ideas" have absolute molecular implications. ]
  [Giving thanks to Life. Relation to prayer --but in concrete activity: shaking up your own system. Everyday you should give thanks to Life in some way, for what's happened to you thru This Thing. You should feel that you are part of a countdown to blastoff, even though you may die before the actual launch comes. The Few cannot give allegiance, celebrate an old-style god--external, static, negative. The Few must reserve their prayer and celebration for a thing called Life: growing, undependable, unpredictable--dynamic. Anything else serves the dead. ]
  [1:38 TASK: Re: the 3 ordinary possible responses to idea energy --recognize and locate each type in your own everyday, ordinary self.

Transcript

IT SEEMS I'VE HEARD THIS SONG BEFORE...

REACTIVE, RESIGNFUL AND REFLECTIVE RESPONSES

Talk  224,  September 4, 1986
Copyright (c) Jan M. Cox, 1986          

      Recently, someone who had been seeing videotapes of my talks and reading some of the available writings corresponded with me and expressed something I have often heard before.  I am paraphrasing, but the core of this person's comments was that, to some degree, what was being made available was just a bunch of ideas -- nothing they could put their hands on.  They felt I had not given out enough "hands on" whatever -- hardly any prayers, hardly any meditation techniques, very little ritualistic mumbo jumbo.  And the person was saying, "Tell me what to do!  These ideas are interesting, but my goodness they are just ideas!"

     To some people, especially those who come in contact with This second hand, there seems to be a dearth of directions.  "Give me something specific."  "What's going on?"  "Am I missing the boat, or what?" These people are, in a sense, missing the boat and something is amiss.  Addressing these kinds of questions, I am going to give you a rather straightforward description of a phenomenon which has heretofore gone unnoticed by humanity.

     You have to understand that "ideas" are a form of energy.  All everyday occurrences -- sexual attractions, arguments, friendly conversations, business transactions -- are interchanges of energy.  That is a fact.  They are all food:  ideas are food; information is food; data is food; a punch in the nose is food and a scornful look is food.  Energy/food.  All food is energy, and all energy is data, and all data is food, and all energy is energy.

     For those of you not listening fast enough, I'll repeat this a different way:  All creatures are here as part of a food chain.  But man is unique in that he is part of a food chain which cannot be seen.  He is part of what I'm calling the energy/food chain.

     This invisible chain can be Seen in Blue Circuit activity -- apparent emotional relationships between people -- and in Yellow Circuit activity particularly.  Though this food chain does not leave the evidence of droppings on the ground and you can't pluck energy/food from a garden, anyone who is exposed to This for a certain amount of time can See it.  Once that happens, you no longer regard what transpires here as "just ideas" or theories.

     At the ordinary level, people respond to the transfer of ideas -- "ideas" being one description of energy, just as cabbage is one description of a food stuff.  There are three possible ordinary responses to idea energy:  reactive, resignful, and reflective.  Under all ordinary conditions, people will react to a situation if the relative charge of what seems to be going on is enough to draw their awareness into its orbit.  And their reaction will fall into one of these three categories.

     "Reactive" is the crudest form.  A person reacts by punching someone in the nose or yelling a response.  An example of this would be you out jogging and minding your own business when a truck goes by and the driver hollers, "Hey, fatso!" and you immediately yell back, "Up yours!"  That is what I am referring to as reactive.  Such a response is totally mechanical and operates almost as fast as consciousness.  You have an immediate -- Reaction!

     An example of the second, "resignful," response would be if, after the truck driver yelled, you kept on jogging.  Maybe you'd think to yourself, "Well, people yell at you on the highway.  What are you going to do?"  There is no immediate return of hostility.  I don't mean you react in some philosophical, tolerant way, though.  Your reaction is more like, "Well, it's always that way and I have to put up with it."

     Another type of resignful response would be more like  "I deserve that kind of crap."  Somebody steps on your foot and before they can say, "Pardon me," you go, "I'm sorry!"  Or they say, "I'm so sorry!" and you're thinking, "Oh no, I shouldn't have had my foot sticking out there."  I repeat, the resignful response I'm describing is in no way based on understanding or tolerance.  It's just a feeling that, "It rains all the time and when it rains, chances are I'm going to be standing there in my brand new suit.  That's just the way life is."  Compared to the reactive response, you might look at the resignful response as a more Blue Circuit reaction.

     The third ordinary possibility, which I am calling "Reflective," would be a kind of speculation.  This would occur in the kind of person who is wired up to be, relatively speaking, more Yellow Circuit.  Such a response could be called a Yellow Circuit attempt to speculate on what happened.  After the truck driver yelled, this type of person might continue jogging while thinking, "People who drive pickup trucks are usually lower class and it's a well known fact that as children they are mistreated by their families, and judging by the condition of that truck, I'd say the man was from a socio-economically deprived environment."  This reflective response is a kind of speculation about what might be going on -- a theoretical, intellectual attempt to explain what might have caused this sort of energy to be directed toward me.  A reflective response might even take the form of wondering, "What in my background makes me want to respond a certain way?"

     You could describe sub-categories, if you want to waste your time, but all ordinary reactions fall into one of these three categories:  either you react immediately; you feel a kind of resignation.  Or you engage in Yellow Circuit sand-castling as to "What is going on here?"  Just take these as the three possibilities.

     If you are ordinary, you're going to respond in one of those ways.  And usually in only one way.  Occasionally an ordinary person will have a flash of two responses.  The truck driver yells, you almost say, "Up yo--," and then suddenly wonder, "Should I have said that?"  But usually at the ordinary level of consciousness people react one way and one way only.

     Ordinarily, your response -- the way you take idea/energy in -- is completely mechanical and happens in one of these predictable ways.  You take energy in; you eat it; you digest it.  But what you eat has no distinguishable taste.  The food is just something that keeps you alive.  When you react in one of these three mechanical ways, you are living on the blandest grits without even a pinch of salt.  You've eaten them all your life.  They'll keep you alive; you'll have a full sensation, but you'll never understand anything. Living this way you are simply playing out a necessary role in the energy/food chain of Life.  Energy comes in, your system responds to it, passes it along, and it's almost as if nothing has happened.  The process is as mechanical as anything can be.

     When you deal with energy/ideas as "just ideas" -- responding to them in this mechanical fashion -- the three possibilities will chemically hold you right in your proper place.  Given particular situations, you will continue to return hostility for hostility; or if somebody gives you a half-smile, you'll always smile in return; if someone yells, you'll wonder why.  When you react the same ways over an over, what's taking place is a kind of chemical reinforcement.  It's as if you were continually carrying on the same conversation with yourself, describing "you" over and over in the same way.  Forget any psychological theory; to continually respond in one of these three ways is to chemically reinforce where you are and thus remain blind to what This is about.

     Now let me point out a fourth possibility besides reactive, resignful, or reflective.  Neuralize this new possibility as being an unusual "news cast" or a "right-angle wrap-up."  A right-angle wrap-up is not simply the sum of the first three possibilities.  Whenever you move into an area where Life is speculating on its own tomorrow, you cannot give an actual description.  But just as the "sum" of the three forces would equal an indescribable triaxial reality, the right-angle wrap-up response is not simply the sum of anything you can name.  A true Christian, Buddhist, or Jew -- if there was such a thing -- would not be just the sum of all that religion's teachings, if you could add them up.  When you put certain mechanical parts together -- pistons, crankshaft, steering wheel, seats -- you have an automobile -- you have more than the sum of the parts.

     You have the possibility of something more -- the right-angle wrap-up -- once you begin to experience that This Thing is not just ideas.  I don't say this in deference to myself as conveyor of these ideas.  When I write something down, I get a copyright and put my name on it -- but it's stolen.  These ideas are Life thinking.  Life seems to always have a few people popping up whose "ideas" go at extreme angles away from the ordinary evening news wrap-up.  This happened 6,000 years ago and happens today.  It's as if suddenly a piece of Life's nervous system -- a cell in Life's brain -- turns around to all the other brain cells and says, "Ah Hah!"  Such a right-angle wrap-up is much more than the summation of all possibilities at the ordinary level.  If that were not so, This would be just some kind of theory -- just ideas.

     The persistent feeling of "give me something to do" which some of you have is fully understandable and is part of the apparent difficulty at the beginning.  But I have also pointed out that for the Few people -- for those brain cells close to the locale where this extraordinary information comes out -- directions about "what to do" can be insufficient and even self-defeating.  What they often amount to is the teaching of apparent worship or mechanical ritual.  "We've got to cut our hair and let our beards grow and stop drinking on Thursdays.  We all have to pray at l0:00 and 5:00 and live in the same area of town."  Of course, such directions are necessary and serve a purpose in Life.  Witness the pageantry of the world's great religions.  And do I have to remind you that all of Life is show biz?  If you're going to church, it's show biz.  If you're slinging hash at a waffle house, it's show biz.  So, there's nothing wrong.

     Built into everyone is a feeling, a need to have someone tell you what to do.  "I'm talking about quick, I'm talking about serious.  I've traveled around the world, I'm older and wiser, I'm tired of looking, so tell me, I'm ready.  I'll throw myself into it, if you'll just specify.  When do I pray?  What do I call you?  Where's the holy book with all the detailed instructions?"

     "Tell me what to do."  That is the primary theme of the many.  Pageantry, ritual, and the appearance that there is indeed something to be done is very important in Life.  But all of you have had enough time to see that the apparent things to be done are meaningless.  That is not attack -- it just turns out there is no nourishment in such activities.  They do not satisfy the Few.  Many of you have pursued such activities -- put forth your best effort -- and you understand for yourself that there is no sense in taking that approach.

     Let's go back to talking about "just ideas."  Those properly drawn to This begin to understand that when ideas come from somewhere other than the Yellow Circuit of humanity -- when they do not come from the exact time frame you exist in -- you cannot react in the ordinary way.  You cannot make the usual response, "I like that part, but I don't believe this other part.  So I'm not going to do that part."  Likewise, you cannot take whatever I say in a resignful manner:  "Yes, I understand that was an allegorical attack on certain types of people which I certainly deserve because I'm like that."  You also cannot profitably be reflective about This, taking notes and going away thinking, "How intriguing.  I could clean that up a bit and use it in this paper I'm writing."

     If you attempt to digest This, that is, to respond to it as ordinary food, then it will forever remain "just ideas."  But when you take all the ideas, and try to Remember and use them, for the Few it begins to literally affect the molecular structure of what you are.  There is a kind rhythm to this which you can begin to recognize.  You may feel, "Nothing has happened in the last six months," and then there will be a quantum step.  You suddenly feel as though some psychic surgery or molecular alteration has taken place.  Internally, something has changed.  The structure of what "you" are is not the same as it was "X" number of months or weeks ago.  The change may be very small, but you can feel it.  Some of you will find that there begins to be a tempo, so you can almost predict, after a certain amount of time, when something will happen.

     This makes life interesting, worthwhile, and fun for the Few.  When this happens, you know why you persisted and you also understand why I said that normally change is not possible.  Ordinary people do not change; ordinarily there is no real growth in a person's lifetime.

     A few people can change.  They do not suddenly grow halos or develop the ability to fly.  But there is absolute alteration of the molecular structure, and these Few begin to See outside the usual spectrum.  This is not mystical; scientists realize that the auditory, visual, and tactile range of the human senses is limited.  There are things you have never heard or seen.  There is heat hotter than you've ever felt, but if you did touch it, such heat would damage the sense organs.

     Just as technology can expand the sensory spectrum of human beings, an alternation in the molecular structure can literally expand perception.  When this happens, a kind of shock takes place.  In the past, this shock might have been described as a miracle:  "All these years I have prayed and fasted and I have to tell you, sometimes, the gods talk to me and show me things that are inexplicable."  That sort of alteration -- which used to pass as a mystical experience or being touched by the gods -- is quite real, but those descriptions are not up to date or valid for you people.

     Once you begin to see and hear and taste what everybody else cannot, the experience is so astounding that it's almost not astounding.  In order to talk about such perceptions, you almost have to turn them back into something which seems astounding; but to you they are irrelevant -- they just are.  In a sense, you're not seeing anything different -- you are seeing something in addition to.  You are seeing in two or three additional directions.

     Initially, you may want to grab a friend or somebody in your family and say, "Listen to me, there's more to life than you're seeing!"  Eventually, you find out that people are not structured to see more.  This does not mean ordinary people are stupid or in some way lacking.  You own perception is simply expanded, once you can chew and digest the ideas given here in a certain way.

     Neuralize this:  There is a kind of identification which can be made of the sound of idea/energy verbally expressed.  Musically speaking, there are four different aspects of sound:  pitch -- the location of the note on the musical scale; volume -- the sound pressure, how loud the sound is; duration -- whether the sound is long or short; and timbre -- the quality of the sound.  Timbre is the overtones of the sound -- the resonance that allows you to identify the sound as coming from a piano or a viola or a tuba, for example.  Consider that once you begin to change molecularly, experiences have a kind of holographic timbre which you begin to perceive.  I could say you become able to Hear in a way that identifies, or that you experience identification by holographic timbre.  I call this holographic because every piece of information contains the whole.  Everything is talking to you at once and you are suddenly able to Hear.

     There is a timbre to ordinary responses to ideas.  That is one place to start, but you can identify timbre everywhere.  Flip on the radio; turn on the TV news and listen to the commentator.  You're listening to what he's saying, and you begin to Hear the timbre.  Then your dog starts barking or your spouse walks through the room and turns the sound down.  The pitch, the volume can change -- I don't mean this just literally -- but you can still hear that identifying timbre.  Life itself starts to resonate and you are no longer simply listening to a political commentator, a left-wing fanatic, or a right-wing dunderhead.  You Hear also this suspiciously familiar timbre.

     There was a great old song from the thirties, "It seems I've heard this song before..."  The man didn't know what he was saying when he wrote that, but everything that happens is reflected in the smallest particle of what happens.  Many people resonate to that idea, poetically, spiritually.  Philosophers and even dyed-in-the-socks intellectuals have resonated to the idea that the world is reflected in a teardrop, a grain of sand.  I'm giving you a more up to date description:  There exists a kind of holographic timbre, but in order to perceive it, your own system must be altered.  Right now you have the kind of cheap receiver that won't even pick up all the ordinary stations.  You've got low wattage and a poor tuner, when what's required is the most expensive and finely tuned equipment available.

     Life's timbre is holographic in the sense that one piece of it contains more information than ordinary, three-dimensional awareness can see.  In order to get a complete picture of "what just happened," ordinary consciousness keeps trying to put all the pieces together.  But in holographic timbre, there is a recognition of the impression of the whole universe in one small thing that happens.  You don't necessarily understand all there is to understand about that one piece, but you understand from one word -- one look, one smell -- something more.  That one piece may answer a question that seemed far removed from what just happened.

     Recently, someone asked me whether their progress in This could be restrained by their own presumptions about what is possible.  I wanted to say, "YES!!"  That is a question that, somewhere along the line, all of you should be able to throw in the hopper, but is a hard one to deal with.  I once presented this to you in another form, asking you to simply try and think of something absolutely new.  That is dangerous, because it can suddenly strike you that you've been hanging around here for a number of months or years thinking great thoughts, but up until this moment you've never thought anything new.  This is something you must see for yourself; that you have always been absolutely limited in very particular way.  Initially, you can regard the limitation as being of the Yellow Circuit.  It's not this simple, but consider that you have been limited by everything you apparently understand because of the explanatory words and phrases that repeat in your head all the time.

     Even when you thought you were taking in new ideas, you weren't.  Remember:  you are what you eat and what you eat is you, at the ordinary level.  On that level, anything new you thought you heard was taken in, eaten, and digested by your verbal system.  And the same words and phrases you've always used took these ideas, chewed them up, swallowed them, and got them just right.  Once that happened, they were nothing new; they were you-meat.  You ate them and they became you.

     Ordinarily, you can't notice this happening since all understanding, all reality, is couched in the same words.  That is reality.  That is you.  You can ask the question, "Is my progress restrained by my presumptions?"  The only trouble is, if you have to ask and I have to answer, nothing has changed. Whatever I answer may give you a little chill or get a laugh out of you, but the words I say will still fit in somewhere.  "Wait, oh yes!  I understand what he means."  What has happened if you ask the question and I say, "Yes," and you think, "how good to know," or, "that's interesting"?  You have given one of the three possible ordinary responses.

     Presenting these ideas is always an attempt to keep the idea/food within reasonable bounds so it does not completely strangle people's awareness.  It may seem this new food is fairly normal, but there is a continual attempt to trick you into eating it spiced with ingredients that don't come out of an ordinary kitchen.

     The other day I was reading a magazine and noticed an article about, "How I quit smoking."  It was a short piece, edited in such a way as to be interesting to mainstream America.  The guy first gave information about himself.  He was a hard-nosed reporter, had been around the world and seen it all; not a pansy or a nerd, but a man's man.  He'd been smoking all his life -- for thirty or forty years -- and had often thought about quitting.  Some of his friends quit.  Some of them got sick and he'd worry, but it always seemed to him, "I just can't quit.  I've climbed mountains and reported war stories and jumped out of planes in World War II.  I'm a rough and tumble kind of guy, but I don't know, it just seems like, you know, smoking is something you can't deal with.  You get in the habit, and it's just one of those things that rough and tumble guys do."  Then he said, "So that's the background."  He didn't give any apologies, didn't talk about how smoking is wrong or anything, just how he really hadn't been able to stop.

     As the story continued, a series of little things happened that caused him to check with a doctor.  "He did a few tests and said, 'Well, you are dying of lung cancer.  You don't have long to live.'"  Then the author says again what a tough guy he has always been and how hard it is to quit smoking.  The punch line of the article was, "It's amazing how after the doctor told me I was dying, after forty years I quit smoking, instantly, just like that!"

     What could Life be up to with this article?  This story just dripping with a kind of sophisticated, sardonic truth about the human psyche.  Of course, the author is still alive to write the article and to say, "Can you dig it?  Does it take this kind of hard lesson?  I learned from my experience, and I'm not crying about it.  I smoked.  I knew what I was doing and that people die from smoking, and I just couldn't quit.  But let me tell you what, when they said I was dying I stopped."

     I'm not talking only about smoking, but this is a very good example of a certain kind of message.  The people it was aimed at in Life's body are supposed to read this and experience a "psychological" shock. "Right now if I went to the doctor and he said I had lung cancer, boy, I bet I could quit, too."  This message is serving a purpose -- seemingly giving a "psychological" message about what is possible.  Life is talking to itself and the message is coming out through certain people.

     Some of you should be able to recognize the holographic timbre of the message.  It would seem as if the author stopped smoking as a consequence of psychological shock.  What Life has not made available to ordinary consciousness is simply this:  An immediate, chemical, molecular alteration has occurred in the total person which makes a whole series of things possible, not just quitting smoking.  Don't you think that suddenly the man's relationship with his wife changed -- instantly?  Don't you  suspect he suddenly rediscovered the gods of his fathers and went to see the priest or the rabbi?  Ordinary consciousness believes all such matters are in some way psychological.  "This jolt brought me to my senses.  I suddenly realized the foolishness of burning up my body by smoking and making my wife miserable by fighting with her."

     From an ordinary viewpoint, "just the idea" of death was enough to change the man's life.  "Just an idea."  Just an idea of an extraordinary molecular nature, for example, someone with authority says, "You are about to buy the farm and there's nothing we can do."  Then, "Just like that, I quit smoking!"  Just like that, all kinds of amazing things are possible for the person.  Changes take place, but they are not psychological; they are not spiritual.  What happened was that powerful verbal energy/food came into this person's ears -- sound waves traveled from tongue to eardrum -- which said, "You are a dead man!"  And a sudden chemical, molecular change took place.  The balance in the man's blood shifted in the time it took for him to do a double take and say, "What?  I'm dying?"  Because the idea of impending death qualifies -- trust me -- on an ordinary level as an astounding "just idea."

     Suddenly, the man feels different.  He wants to talk to his father who he always believed he hated; he can't wait to tell his son he loves him; the sunset looks different; he wants to go back to church.  All of this washes over him, but this flood is not "spiritual" nor "psychological."  A chemical chain reaction has occurred which is invisible to ordinary consciousness.

     I want to say a word about giving thanks to Life.  Earlier I mentioned the paucity of prayers I've given out -- the dearth of encouragement forthcoming from yours truly toward that which could be described as prayer.  But each of you should understand, even before I say it, that every day you ought to be thanking Life, and not just in some theoretical way.  Do not take some old, hard-wired idea about prayer that you got from religion and try to impose my terms, saying, saying, "Thank you, Life," instead of "Thank you, Lord."  I am not talking about anything mechanical and there are no particular words to use.  But all of you, if you are making effort, should feel the need almost daily to appreciate that there has been some change you are aware of.  You should be continually amazed by your involvement with This and that, "Something has happened."  I'm not going to give any examples.  You should just nonverbally feel like walking up to Life -- if he was the Big Guy next door -- and punching him on the arm and saying, "Hey, thanks a lot!"

     A countdown has been going on in each of you for months, years.  You don't know whether next week the ignition will be fully completed, or if you'll die before blastoff.  But you can feel the countdown!  There is always something going on.  You are being drained of old, stale fuel and refueled.  Technicians are working on you, every day.  There is a countdown going on toward blastoff, and if the Big Guy were here you'd go, "Thanks!"

     Remember I'm not talking about the old religious notion of praying to the gods or god.  Those gods were negative in the sense that god was viewed as something unchanging.  The "god" of the many is eternal, everlasting, and constant.  But that god -- anything that never changes -- is dead.  Life -- the "god" of the Few -- is continually moving and changing.  Life is not dead!  Life is as alive as you are.  The Few cannot worship that which is dead; you can't thank that which is dead.  There's no profit there.

     Still, notice the hold the notion of a constant "god" has over people, and the purpose that serves in Life.  Life is unpredictable, but at least you could depend on the old god -- as a constant.  So there seems to be a permanent, external standard.  "God" is always the same and it's up to people to measure up. "None of us can, that's why we're on our knees praying."  That fits, and feels right to the many.

     To the Few, it stinks.  Not because the idea of "god" is wrong.  It is simply outdated, though it still suffices for the greater portion of Life's body.  The idea is valid, even today, and proper in some time zones.  But there is no profit for the Few in worshiping something that is apparently unchanging, dead -- a dead end.  How could such a thing even exist?  Whatever is alive is changing.  Whatever is alive, you cannot even identify as being a permanent this or that, here or there.  You are in no real position to say, "There is god," or, "There is truth."  If you could move at right angles to all you now understand -- See in all possible directions at once -- and you had enough fingers to cover all 360 degrees, you might attempt to point out "god."  But by the time you pointed, he would have moved.

     I assure you that apparent prophets, or founders of religions in the past, also had to deal with the question we are discussing now.  They had a Few people around them attempting to understand what This is all about.  And for those Few people, the description of whatever "the gods" or "god" is had to be different.  Because you cannot truly give homage to or correspond with that which is dead.  And whatever is alive is undependable, dynamic, everchanging, and unpredictable.

     Picture Life as the Big Guy next door.  He'd be totally unpredictable -- not unlike you.  Maybe one day you punch him on the arm and say, "Thanks!" and he turns and smiles.  Another day, he doesn't notice you at all.  Or he ignores you.  What kind of god is that?

     Well -- even though we have never used the word "god" to describe this -- what you are faced with is:  That's your kind of god!