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Summary by TK

Jan Cox Talk 89, Nov 10, 1983, runtime 2:00

  [Consciousness is based on binary reality: biality. Whereas Triality is the full reality. New word: Conality: that conceived of in an individual Yellow Circuit --not a consensual reality perception; that which is ordinarily relegated to imagination. Yet Conality is as much a part of Triality as solid objects are. ]
  [Yellow Circuit connection energy flows tend to leave traces facilitating the repetition of such previously used paths for new energy pulses. Ordinary change is a result of a buildup of a "new" (unusual) pressure which forces a different energy transfer path. But it is still w/in a preordained pattern and is no real change. Such new pressure is usually based primarily in one circuit. ]
  [Life considered in metaphor of exaggerated sized living being. Not true, but a useful way to consider Life. ]
  [Never look back. This is a primary concern of the Yellow Circuit--a mechanical attraction useless for The Few. True history is not seen in looking back, it is in looking down the spinal column, the nervous system. ]
  [First, second and third forces now called C,D,E. Remember, all labels are misleading. Second force--D force--can be seen as Destructive and/or conserving. Humanity's idealized description of Love would approach a living description of First force--C force--if it could be so isolated. 
  [TASK: Attempt to See the various forms of human struggle and conflict as non-contradictory processes of a larger being of Life itself. What examples can you come up with? Examples include "secret group" of wise men running the world: a tacit admission by mankind of Life's larger reality.|| Write an ethnological report from year 2083 on some artifact from 1983 w/ emphasis on reasonable but completely wrong explanation of its use as seen from the 2083 time.|| Change your handwriting so that it would not be recognizable as yours.

BIALITY - TRIALITY - CONALITY = REALITY              

Document:  89, November 10, 1983
Copyright (c) Jan M. Cox, 1983                        

    Ordinary consciousness perceives two thirds of what is going on.  At most, people see two apparent forces in action.  It seems to everybody that what is going on is some kind of conflict -- me versus the neighbors or me versus the IRS.  Or it could seem to be an internal conflict between two parts of me. One part has a desire to do something and simultaneously another parts says, "I can't." Whether it seems to be external or internal, let's call this binary sort of perception BIALITY.  BIALITY is what everyone on this planet (except the Few) calls REALITY.

     What is accessible to the Few is to be able to see all Three Forces in action at once.  This is the expanded sort of REALITY I'm busy trying to take you to at the moment. For now I'll give this expanded sight the name TRIALITY.

     Ordinary reality requires that people have mutually acceptable statements of what's going on.  The definition of that reality varies from time to time and place to place in this living machinery.  Whether they be scientists, psychologists, secretaries, or bricklayers, a group of people has to be able to state that such and such is true as far as they are concerned.  It could be five guys standing around with a couple of pallets of bricks and a set of blueprints.  They've figured out a way to build a wall and a couple of them go over and stack up bricks in a certain way and everyone can see that the wall will stand up.  The five bricklayers (or scientists or waitresses) are exercising the normal sort of reality I'm naming BIALITY.

     Opposed to BIALITY is something right under everyone's nose (or more accurately, right behind everyone's nose).  This something goes unnoticed to the extent that no one has a word for it.  The name I've coined for it uses the "con" from the first part of "conceive."  My name for this invisible bedfellow is CONALITY is that which apparently manifests itself only in one person's Yellow Circuit.  CONALITY is what is usually denounced as insanity, imagination, illusion, infatuation, and delusion.  Let us take a good extreme example.  Let's assume that most people don't believe that there are flying saucers from actual other planets populated by imitative mortals.  (Recognizably mortal to the extent that a human on this planet could respond, "Oh, even though you're green and have fourteen arms -- hello, how are you?") Let's further assume that the majority of people would look upon someone who believed in flying saucers as being crazy.  The response might be, "You're not seeing flying saucers, it's your imagination." Remember, I have pointed out there is no such thing as imagination.  A more accurate response to the person who claims flying saucers land in his yard might be, "It's your CONALITY."  You might ask him, if you were feeling playful, "You don't have any other witnesses do you?  Well, except your uncle and he's as crazy as you are."  There is no mutually observable manifestation -- the person can't invite twenty people over to meet his little green friends.  His perception is singular to his Yellow Circuit.  The flying saucers are real and valid to him.  Thus, we can't dismiss them as imagination.  Since they exist in his CONALITY, they exist in Life.

     If you think that's too strange, let me see if I can drag it a little closer to home.  (Assuming that nobody in here still believes in flying saucers.  We'll assume nobody does and I don't want to know otherwise.) How about down to the level of "I feel as though I'm no good."  The voices would say, "I am filled with self-guilt.  I am filled with a loathing for myself.  I feel as though I do not measure up."

     All right, let us say that a person expresses such self-doubt to a friend or a neighbor or his mother.  Don't you see that he would almost certainly get the response, "There is no basis for that.  It is your imagination.  You have a fine job.  All of us who know you like you as well as we do anybody else.  I don't see anything terrible about your behavior.  You're intelligent enough.  Is anyone around you telling you you're no good?"  "No."  "How long have you had your job?"  "Twenty years."  "Have you been promoted?"  "Constantly."  "Then where do you get this idea that you're no good?"  "I just know it.  I can feel it.  I can't shake it, no matter what you say."  And the friend or the mother or whoever the person is talking to says, "That is your imagination."  That is CONALITY.  CONALITY exists and only manifests itself within the Yellow circuit of one person.  There is no chorus of consent affirming.  "Yes, you are no good."  No one agrees.  "Yes, if we all put our ears up to your head we can hear the voices talk to you."

     Under ordinary conditions the circuitry cannot comprehend that what seems to be an individual's perverse imagination is an essential part of REALITY.  I'm referring to REALITY at the level I'm trying to drag you to, that is, TRIALITY.  You are confronted with a piece of someone's "imagination" (CONALITY) and you operate on the basis that "there is an established REALITY and I know it," (BIALITY).  You dismiss his CONALITY as "imagination."  There is no such thing as imagination.  CONALITY is as much a part of TRIALITY as BIALITY is.  The entire collection:  CONALITY, BIALITY, and TRIALITY is true REALITY.  Only a few people can see the entirety of such a REALITY.

     I don't mean that in the world of TRIALITY little green men with fourteen arms are actually landing in anybody's yard.  And I don't mean just because thoughts of "I'm no good" go through your head that you are actually no good.  It's that the perceptions themselves are real to the people perceiving them.  The resulting actions in turn affect all of us.  I want you to see that you cannot divide up REALITY into the world of those who are nuts as opposed to those who are not nuts.  You can't say, "Right here is proper, nonimaginary REALITY.  And over here, separate from and foreign to Life, is all this craziness.  CONALITY is not separate from reasonable life.  Everything affects everything.

     If you get so you can stretch REALITY to the point that you start to See, then you will be able to willfully separate from your own CONALITY.  Then you will be able to see that nothing is broken, nothing is wasted, nothing is wrong, including your own CONALITY.  Everything you had previously labeled as being outside the beneficial flow of life suddenly spills over.  Suddenly that "outside" stuff is not foreign to anything.

     When you can see that nothing is foreign, you will be seeing with something else.  But your Yellow Circuit is not equipped to see in such a seamless manner.  Your Yellow Circuit can only say, "Things are either true or they're not true.  Things are either real or they're not real."  On the level of BIALITY, the Yellow Circuit is correct.  This is one valid level of reality.  But on the level of TRIALITY, you can't have total reality.  That excludes what you consider to be unreal.

     Perceptions which are ordinarily labeled "unacceptable" have an unrecognized function.  There have to be boundaries to your personal reality.  For your mentation to run its regular courses in the brain it has to have negative reflections to bounce off of.  Your thoughts run down their usual avenues and they know which routes to follow because there are "untrue" things to bounce them back to their accustomed territory.  When confronted with someone who sees flying saucers, you might say, "I don't care what that guy says, I do not believe him.  He only makes about three dollars an hour; he didn't finish high school. Where does he get off telling me that people from another planet are visiting him and giving him great secrets?  It just can't be.  Even if they did exist, why would they pick him?  Why wouldn't they pick somebody intelligent like me?"  Your thoughts would claim that his flying saucers were outside the limits of reality.  "Seeing flying saucers" would bounce you back into your accustomed mental territory where there are no little green men.  (And where "I'm no good" stalks the alleys!)

     One way of describing BIALITY is as a set of pathways in the brain.  Left to its own devices, ordinary consciousness runs down the same avenues over and over.  It keeps playing back the same pictures, the same chains of associations.  For example, under ordinary conditions, every time you hear the words "sexual perversion" consciousness bounces to one or two places.  The places are different for everybody, but in each person the possible number of places is small.  Or you hear the words "right wing politics" and you think of some government, you think of somebody in history, you think of your uncle.  Something comes to mind.  If you do not take control of the thought, the usual chain of associations will run down the usual avenues.  Perhaps it goes from your uncle to how bad television is to how you hate smart aleck intellectuals.  Then television reminds you of the time you bought the used TV set out of the back of that guy's pickup truck and two months later it exploded.  The whole chain of thoughts takes, of course, about the same length of time as a snap of the fingers.

     I want to tell you about a physical process in the nervous system.  Where the Yellow Circuit follows thought chains or pathways, there is an electrical and chemical process of transmission.  There is a chemical alteration that occurs in the intersections where the pathways meet each other and split off again.  When a transmission takes place, it leaves chemical traces that help establish a path there.  All this repeats itself and makes the connections stronger so that your thoughts are helped to continually repeat themselves.  Such repetition keeps everything stable.  Such stability exists inside you as well as within the greater system of Life on the entire planet.

     It is possible even at the ordinary levels to leave the established pathways; it's possible to find yourself in an alley you've never been to before.  You seem to be thinking things you've never thought about, or perhaps you make a connection you've never made.  The thought could have jumped from "smart-aleck intellectuals" to "sexual perversions."  When an unaccustomed connection is made, a person will have the sensation, "Ooh, that's not me!  What's happening?  It feels like I'm about to lose my mind.  I'm not sure who I am."

     Can you see that there is no such thing as a psychological self with psychological nonmaterial problems.  What you take to be you is simply a set of physical connections in the nervous system.  And if you are doing This Thing, you needn't be a prisoner in your own nervous system.

     Let's see if you can hear something else physical.  People ordinarily think of change as something they personally decide and struggle to do.  Consider for a moment that within the three circuits, certain internal strains can cause a certain circuit or circuits to exert new pressures in areas that up until then had not been pressured in that way.  Suppose a drunk suddenly begins to spit up and piss blood and the doctor tells him, "Hey, a couple more drinks and you're yesterday's news."  Let's say the man apparently comes to his senses.  "Nobody ever explained it to me that way.  To hell with drinking."  And he never drinks again.  Here is what happened on the level of his individual circuitry.  One circuit now has a concern it previously did not have.  In this case, I picked a simple example, one that affects the lowest circuit directly.  The doctor told the drunk, "You are going to die if you don't stop drinking."  The new information, "you will die" put pressure on the Red Circuit and the other circuits accommodated themselves so that altered patterns were created in the entire organism.  The drunk absolutely stopped drinking then and there.

     It would appear that this man underwent a real change.  But notice how we are accustomed to thinking of change at the level of BIALITY.  We feel there is a HE or a SHE inside the organism that sits down, stands up, rolls over, and in some way decides, "There is no profit in drinking.  This is hurting me and I think I will stop."  Apparently real change, such as the drunk suddenly becoming sober is not an ambivalent struggle.  He did not say, "Well, I'll start drinking half as much."  Or, "I'll only drink on weekends."  He may have had thoughts or pictures in his mind.  His thoughts may have tried to grasp the possibility of "me not existing."  What could be a greater fright than that?  He may have had mental pictures of his liver swelling up and exploding.  But by the time news of the danger reached his higher circuitry, the process (stopping all drinking) was already launched.  By the time the voices speak in the Yellow Circuit, the organism has already begun to act.  Pressure is being exerted from one circuit to one or two others.  You have got to see that such "real change" is a physical process.  No one decided to do anything, regardless of what the Yellow Circuit tells you.

     If you feel as though there's been some real change in you in the past, here is new fodder for your Considering.  If you did indeed take some drastic course, new pressure was being exerted.  Your actions were not based on some new understanding and wisdom on your part.  New information impinged on one of your circuits and the others accommodated themselves to it and created a new pattern of transmissions, an altered set of neural pathways.

     Let's slip up on something else.  What about the feeling that stuff happening in Life (such as things you hear in the news) is happening to me individually.  People don't ordinarily take any notice, but the sensation is most common.  You might get the feeling reading about new tensions between two super powers.  One says, "If you invade one more little island in the Caribbean, there's going to be war."  You feel as though it's a threat to you personally.  "Oooh, this is dangerous."  Forget the Yellow Circuit notion that, "This could spread and ultimately send the whole world into some great armed conflict and kill me." Forget that.  I'm not talking about your mental ramblings sometime later, I'm talking about the reading of the news right then.  I'm talking about the immediate sensation of, "Oooh, this is happening to me."  There is some validity to this impression and here it is:  An event in the farthest reaches (that is, the furthest from you) of the Life of Life is ultimately going to affect you.  So, the grumbling between super powers you glimpsed on TV or in the newspaper is happening to Life and will ultimately affect the most distant and minute parts of the total Life of Life.

     Let's further examine some uses of the past.  It may surprise you to hear me speak of the past as useful, since you have heard me denounce any infatuation, any notice of your past as a hindrance to doing This Thing.  Let's look again.  Life has a tool which I call Looking Back.  You should be aware that everyone is mechanically compelled to look back.  Thinking about the past is one of the main activities of the Yellow Circuit, whether it is l/l0 seconds or l0 years ago.  Psychology maintains that your past is what made you and that you can "fix" yourself by going back and unraveling your personal history.

     Even without an interest in psychology, looking back gives people a sense of continuity, it serves as an anchor for sanity.  Your past gives you a basis for knowing who you are.  On an ordinary level, Life uses the past to provide some stability from which to launch its growth.

     For you people doing This Thing, I have insisted that you must treat the past as if it did not exist.  I have correctly told you never to look back.  You should have a sense by now that thinking about what happened 20 years or 20 seconds ago will directly interfere with what you are attempting to do here. Nothing in the past external world -- not your first two or three wives or husbands, not your relationship with your family, not your previous jobs -- is of any importance to you in This Thing.  To think in your habitual style about past personal affairs is to look back.  While looking back is essential to ordinary life, it will keep you right where you are if you are trying to grow.

     Yet people doing This Thing continue to have the sensation that they might gain by examining certain areas of their past.  There is a reality to the sensation that certain parts of your past are very strongly connected to what seems to be you.  Let me coin a new term for the correct attempt to study what has already happened.  Let us call it LOOKING DOWN.  To LOOK DOWN requires that you be actively involved.  Looking down means you are attempting to Consider the information.  You're not bemoaning your current imprisonment in previous patterns, because to correctly Consider, to correctly LOOK DOWN, puts you in touch with a specific sort of freedom.  I won't ruin it for you by putting words on it.  To Consider an aspect of your past means that you're not being dragged back through the associative running of your brain's repetitive physical pathways.  You are not in the hands of the ordinary voices.

     Correctly LOOKING DOWN will give the sensation of "Aha!"  You'll realize you just found a new way to connect the pieces of information you were Considering.  Some brain pathway will seem to short circuit and apparently something from the past is trying to get in on your short circuit.  Regardless of the fact that I told you, "Fuck the past, there's nothing there," you let that fragment of your past into Consideration.  If you are properly LOOKING DOWN, you realize it IS an "Aha!"  You are LOOKING DOWN into the physical structure of your own nervous system, not back into your horizontal past.

     While we're in the neighborhood, let me remind you of a brother-in-law of LOOKING BACK.  To those beginning This Thing, looking for secrets hidden in ancient books can be most captious.  The chorus goes something like this:  "What I need is more books written by mystics about what's happened before -- what such and such a famous prophet did during his "lost years."  Boy, if I could get a translation.  The book is $l00 but if I could afford to buy it and read it, it would bring about a great change in me, TRIALITY-wise."

     Encountering a form of looking back such as looking for the Secret in a musty tome should bring my FRIM face to face with something useful.  Abandoning the past leaves you with a gem inaccessible to BIALITY.  That gem is:  "Right here, what kind of shape am I in?  This apparatus up in my skull that I call consciousness, what is it up to?"  Ordinary BIALITY has no choice but to respond with, "Aw, never mind getting down to business.  Gimme that book."  Everyone's ordinary consciousness can slobber over inaccessible information, but it can never face the question, "What is going on right here?  How have I helped myself do This Thing in the last five seconds?"  The past is safe and comforting.

     I want to mention something new regarding the Three Forces.  I have been calling them First, Second, and Third Forces.  In spite of the inevitable weightiness that goes with naming anything, you have to find some way to remember that there is no sequential order to the forces.  First Force is not in some way superior to Second or Third Force.  I suggest that you stop thinking about the Three Forces as First, Second, and Third, and call them the C, D, and E Forces.  Try your hardest to remember that the three new names do not stand for a particular qualities.  Attempt to avoid thinking of C as First Force, D as Second Force, and E as Third Force, or whatever combination you suspect I have in mind with a new naming system.  A helpful way to keep out on the fringes of naming the Forces is to remember that anything you name "C" can and will act as "D" or "E" a split second later.  Another aid to foiling naming is the attempt to remember each force is equally as important as the other two.  It's just that one of them gets bad press, and another gets NO press.

     I want you to try to Consider something about the force which usually gets the bad press.  Attempt to Consider that it can appear to be destructive while simultaneously appearing to be conserving.  On the ordinary level of the Yellow Circuit it appears impossible that anything could be destructive and conserving simultaneously.  The force I'm talking about can serve to conserve the status quo, while simultaneously destroying something.

     Here's another one along similar lines.  Nothing in life can even reach your awareness unless it contains conflict.  For you to perceive something, you have to perceive two.  Juliet's family has to denounce Romeo.  There could be no story without a struggle.  Just try it:  "I love you and you love me." "Well, hey, why don't you take me home to your family?"  "What do they think of me?"  "I already mentioned you, and they say you're great."  "Hey, fine."  The end.  That is no story.  Even if somebody wrote a story without conflict, nobody would ever see it.  Anything alive must have conflict.

     You should add one more wrinkle to your Consideration of the Destructive/Conserving Force.  In any apparent conflict you can see First Force making progress, and you can also see the very same conflict supporting the continued health of Second Force in that location.  This is, to say the least, baffling to the Yellow Circuit.  "Good and evil simply can't both be profiting."  Oh, yes, they can!  If it were not for the mutual benefit of First and Second Force in any situation, everyone would have exploded by now.  There WOULD be such a thing as a force taking off and going in a straight line.  To take a simple example, you would never have physically stopped growing if only one force profited from your growth.

     More food for Consideration:  a car goes flying through a stop sign and almost hits Jones.  The offending car is nearly out of sight by the time Jones blows his horn and shouts, "Hey, look where you're going!"  The other driver is long gone.  He can't hear Jones honking and shouting.  It's over.  Jones was not injured.  I want you to Consider, what is going on?  How does Life benefit from this?  Remember, Life does benefit.  If we asked someone on the street, he might say, "It's just the folly of humanity.  People are idiots.  Man is no good."  But you should never denounce any human activity as bad or silly.  All human behavior benefits Life.  Here is a hint:  you don't have to be present to transfer energy.  There is a purpose to your existence and to everything that happens, and that purpose is to transfer energy within Life's body.

     Here are a couple of easy ones.  What is going on with people hugging each other?  Not necessarily sexually, but just friends who haven't seen each other in a while.  Or what happens when people stroke dogs and cats?  (Now, don't jump to the immediate conclusion.  Keep exploring the possible answers.)

     Here's one that goes around four or five corners.  What in the world could be served by people enjoying reading about sex?  Our academically trained smart-aleck (other than the fact that he probably had a whole box full of yummy stuff hidden under his bed) would denounce pornography as foolish and uncivilized.  Psychologists would have an explanation for pornography's existence.  Such responses aside, I am asking you quite simply, how does the practically universal phenomenon of pornography benefit life? Isn't it odd that people enjoy reading about sex?  What is going on?

     I recently introduced a map which calls for your looking upon everything in Life as another, unbelievably exaggerated person.  I would like you to try to Consider one or two subjects in the context of Life as a huge human being whose behavior is not so different from yours.  (Need I remind you that you are carrying around the only information you need to do This Thing, for example your own nervous system. You are a walking laboratory.)

     How about what appears to be struggles between conflicting political, philosophical, or religious ideas?  Can you conceive of such global arguments as this huge person examining (in a reasonable and expected manner) his own thoughts and beliefs?  Remember that what occurs on the level of this big guy could stretch over hundreds of years, while an equivalent behavior in you might last only a second or two.

     How about the Black Death?  That big plague that ravaged most of Europe in the thirteen hundreds. There are some claims that it wiped out a third of the European population.  It just suddenly seemed to come from nowhere, ran on long enough to wipe out that number of people and then pfft, it was over.  No one can conceive of Life having a local infection?  Have you ever had a boil that hung around for two or three days or have you ever gotten a splinter in your toe which got all festered up and red?  At first you thought, "Well, this may be gangrene or something."  You mashed on it, beat on it, and then just ignored it for a few days and it went away.  You never thought about what happened to those poor toe cells?  How about battles?  From all sorts of viewpoints you could describe wars as a form of insanity.  But can you not conceive of there being a sort of cellular situation going on, such as when you take up weight lifting?  When you start, your body feels as if it were made of lead and you get incredibly sore.  When you do anything new the effort tears down cells.  If you continue your weight lifting, though, new strong cells replace the old ones.  Can you conceive that something seemingly catastrophic such as a war could be a strengthening process?  Couldn't the tearing down simultaneously attend a strengthening process?