Diagram 003

Re talks: 6, 8, 20, and 59

     "Now let me try and describe something inside out:  above is a diagram of what actually occurs in the nervous system as the electrical energy flows through it.  This lateral, electrical energy rises to the limit of the nervous system's activation, which is also the level of man's development thus far.  Energy rises to the Line of consciousness -- as far as it can ordinarily go -- and at that point it is diffused.

     Now, the term "being engaged" is one which everyone should have some notion of from your own experience.  It is a matter of being so involved with something internally, some thought, idea or emotion, as to literally be affixed to it.  Now let me describe this to you in a different way, from another viewpoint.  Referring again to the diagram and the diffusion of energy within the nervous system -- remember that although this is a two-dimensional diagram, it is the best description available of the way ordinary consciousness operates -- the energy rises up the nervous system like water being shot up in a fountain.  The pressure is precisely determined so that the water-cum-energy rises to a certain predetermined point, and then falls back down, diffusing in a three hundred and sixty degree pattern around the fountain.  Within your nervous system, this "diffusion fountain" is constantly pumping and pulsating, even when nothing in particular seems to be happening.  If I were talking to you and suddenly left the room, you would probably just sit there idly.  But you're not "just sitting idle."  The energy continues to pulse through your system, consciousness still functions.  In this state of "nothing-in-particular-happening," Line-Level consciousness is left free of immediate duty.  It's the same condition you are in when your activity requires only mechanical, automatic attention (driving, for example).  And in this state, the electrical energy of the nervous system is almost perfectly diffused in that three hundred and sixty degree pattern; you're neither happy nor sad nor hot or cold; you're just kind of blank -- except for the fact that Line-Level consciousness still operates, like an old radio in the back room.

     In this relatively non-engaged condition, the fountain of energy rises to the Line and falls in this almost perfect pattern.  So what is "being engaged"?  Being engaged is this same energy manifested in the form of what people would normally call "attention" (what people synonymously refer to as "themselves").  When your attention is drawn to something, the energy is suddenly not falling in the perfectly diffused three hundred and sixty degree pattern.

     As an illustration, take that perfect circle which is formed by the diffusion around the fountain, and mark it off like the face of a clock; twelve o'clock, three o'clock, etc.  Then let's say that your attention snags on an internal or external "something."  Perhaps you have recently discovered that your old friend Fred has cheated you out of something important.  That old radio in the back of your head could be a real radio in the car you're driving, and a song comes on -- something about "oh my baby, she ran off with a truck driver..."  Perhaps momentarily you're reminded that ol' Fred used to drive a truck, and the perfect three hundred and sixty degree diffusion of energy wherein you where engaged with nothing in particular shifts a little bit towards three o'clock, to the quick association of Fred and the truck driver.  And then this goes on by, without upsetting the pattern to any great degree.  Suddenly, however, you remember what Fred has done to you, and you become angry -- your attention is roused, and you are no longer in that unengaged state.  It is as if the fountain becomes tilted; instead of all the energy falling in a perfectly symmetrical pattern, now a great preponderance of it falls strictly in the area of, say, eleven o'clock.  The energy is no longer simply diffused as before.  It is now focused; it is localized.  You are thinking of Fred and planning your revenge and the focused flow continues in one direction:  "I'll make anonymous phone calls to his wife and tell her he's playing around... I'll call his job and pretend I'm his bookie."

     You may be thinking of these horrible things to do to Fred, and yet the apparently strange thing about it is that there is a certain sense of joy in it all!  Forget any notion of being demon-driven; there is simply a real, immediate sense of satisfaction in being so upset.  It is almost as if "I have a reason to live!"  There is no demon inside you; what is inside you is energy-in-process.  And when that energy is contained and focused in one specific direction, it is pleasurable.  It is physically pleasurable to the system.

     You can feel the reality of this beyond words, though consciousness would no doubt rather die than admit to enjoying such heinous activities.  But it's true.  And yet, how can that be?  Neuralize this mechanical, pleasurable focusing of energy:  at Line-Level, you could see it is a constructive act.  It is the Line-Level system's attempt to remember itself.  The apparent form of the attempt may be "revenge!", but the form doesn't matter at that level.  What matters is that the energy is focused; your nervous system feels temporarily complete, rather than just-kind-of-there-but-nowhere-in-particular. 

     It is still true, however, that the common consensus, even of ordinary humanity, is that revenge is not an ultimately satisfying experience.  And it isn't truly satisfying for the simple reason that you cannot really get "revenge"; it isn't physically possible.  I could describe this in other ways:  you cannot truly fulfill or complete anything that is based on Line-Level activity.  Try to carry out any of those plans for Fred, and you will not get anything that resembles the initial satisfaction of thinking about them.  Suppose you actually did try to wreck Fred's marriage as a vengeful act.  The moment you attempted to act on your internal mutterings, instead of remaining attached to them, the energy itself would simply diffuse again.  You would not get the same sense of mechanical enjoyment you got from plotting the revenge.  Even if you actually managed to destroy Fred's marriage, you would never even come close to enjoying it, because, as I'm suggesting to you most strongly, revenge is not the point!  It was the focusing of the energy that was the point.

     Consider why it is that no matter what a man is engaged with in Life -- whatever apparently motivates him, whether it's revenge, or trying to become richer or more famous -- it is ultimately unsatisfying.  This is because the energy never goes anywhere new.  Line-Level consciousness is literally, physically like burned-out soil.  It has been plowed up over and over, from pulse to pulse, minute to minute, day to day and year to year.  It is the ultimate source of what is meant by the term "karma."

     As an individual human develops to maturity, the level of activation within the nervous system gradually rises until it reaches the Horizontal Line.  And there it stops.  At this point the soil of the brain is already burned out; you've already had months and years of the same thoughts, complaints and daydreams.  You've already had a lifetime of being "you."  And by the time you're grown -- by the time your system is activated to the necessary level -- you feel like it's all over.  It's all downhill from here.  Your Line-Level system almost realizes, without understanding it, of course, that henceforth it will never again encounter the new."  JC talk 0008